Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Time Passes

Well, it has been more than a month since Lynda's death, and it is no coincidence that this is the first entry I've made since. It isn't that is has been difficult to write, though that may have something to do with it as far as the mechanics are concerned, but as important as it was to express myself in words during the last few weeks of Mom's life, it was equally important to get on with my life after being released from the ever-present obligation that was her care in my life of late, and writing naturally has fallen to the bottom of the list of things to do.

And there are many of those things on that list, chief among them being R&R for myself and time to spend with my family. Pierre is back at home, struggling to find himself but working at it with sufficient diligence to warrant my approval and support. Maddie will only be at home for another few months, then she'll fly the coop, likely forever, so it is important to spend some time with her and with Pierre now, to try and balance out the time spent on Lynda this past year.

And time for myself is also important, so I've already managed to get out for a brief round of golf with my friend Blake. Though I've not made good on it this week or last, I do intend to dedicate some time every week to spoiling a good walk, as it were. Hancock golf course is just nine holes and only a few block from UT, so hopefully I'll manage to get out on a Monday afternoon or two per month.

There are house repairs to take care of, as well, and though it doesn't sound like a satisfying personal experience to have the bathroom repaired, it is in fact a great relief to have it done for us instead of by me! This means I am free to put up bookshelves etc and generally bring the house into line with our needs and desires. Next will be the kitchen, which we will also pay someone to do with the hope of enjoying it before we have to move out!

So all in all, it has been a great great relief to be living my life again these past few weeks. There have been a few moments of tears and pangs of regret that certain things will remain forever unsaid or unknown, but these moments are fewer and further between.

I am now starting to think about all the people who helped me get through this and thinking I need to acknowledge them in some way. It is hard to express the depth of my gratitude or even to remember who is on the list of deserving and helpful individuals such has been the tumult of the past dozen or so months. Likely I'll not manage to remember all who deserve thanks, but as I regain my strength and energy I will find a way to work toward repaying these folks with my actions as well as my words.

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