Friday, March 21, 2008

Thoughts of Lynda



Today is Easter, and oddly, with this earliest of high Christian holidays that I can recall, come thoughts of Lynda. Seemingly forgotten in the rush of events that began with Pierre's death, thoughts of her that have lingered in the back of my brain are bubbling up, and it is time to pay some attention to the life she lived and the person she was. I cannot lose sight of how much she meant to me nor forget the things she taught me, so it is time to move forward.

I--we, the whole family--had planned, but just tentatively, to have a memorial for Lynda in the spring, and even with the lost month of February somehow miraculously regained, would have not had enough time to figure out what would best best and most fitting.

There are many details to be worked on, but on one we have agreed on is the date: May 13. David will be in town with David and Anne and Eric will come down from New York. Though there are a number of people on the 'guest' list, it is of most interest to her children and the cousins who knew her well, and will bring a closure for us all, if such things are possible.

I for one, am of course, still torn apart by Pierre's death and so cannot quite yet distinguish between the grief I feel for him, the grief I feel for Lynda, and, quite honestly, the depression I have experienced for what seemed like the longest year of my life. So 2007 remains an awkward blur, full of painful details best repressed if never forgotten, and I am still waiting for the tears to come. Perhaps they will not.

The Final Year

The final year
was a
long goodbye.

The final fear
was of
life gone by.

The final tear?
Frozen,
in my eye.

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