Saturday, March 28, 2009

Scammer Scamming: Chapter II

So, dear Reader, here is chapter two in my now-ongoing attempt to scam a scammer.

Here is what "David Dowson" wrote in response to my first email:

On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 11:27 PM, George Dowson wrote:

Dear Phillip,

Thanks for your mail.
Please I need to be sure that am dealing with the person my letter was addressed to – therefore I will like you to write your contact phone and fax number on the letter and send me a copy by fax or by email attachment.
If you can to support or back up your address, you can also forward any document that reflect your name and address on it – it can a copy of your bill, a payment receipt – whatever that shows your name with the address.
Thereafter – I’ll send you detail information about me- myself, Mr.M.K.Dubov,the investment detail and how I intend to carry out the transaction with your name.
One more thing please – can you confirm the complete name of your father.
Yours truly,

And here is what I wrote back:

Dear Mr. Dowson,

First of all, let me apologize for misspelling your name. I know how frustrating it can be when people don't pay attention to details, and as we enter into a significant venture together, it is important to be accurate and thorough, don't you agree?

Next, I want to thank you for your prompt response and again for simply making contact in the first place. As I related in my first letter, this is a moment of great hope and anticipation of a new life for me and my seven brothers and sisters. I haven't told them, of course, but when I do, I know they'll come to regard you as I do: our saviour!

Thanks also, for being so careful about verifying my identity, for as I think about it, it would be a real tragedy if someone else with my same last name were to sneak in and claim to be our father M.K.'s rightful heirs before we can complete this transaction. Of course, I would be more than happy to send you some proof of my identity but darn it, I couldn't find a return address in the letter you sent me. Silly me, I thew away the envelope without writing it down. So, if you'll just send me your address, I can send you something right away.

Now, what should I send you? As for proof of my identity I'm not sure what would be the best. I could send you a copy of my latest gas and electric bills, but I was thinking that if I send you a copy of my latest bank statement (with the total amount blocked out of course--I don't want you to know how much I have:), why then you'd have all the necessary information for transferring the eight million dollars right straight into my checking account! Of course, I have a savings account too, but I can be honest with you and tell you that I really just have the five dollar minimum in it. I can just never seem to save any money, can you believe it? But all that is going to change now, and thanks to you David! That is your name, right? I ask because I see that the email comes from a "George" Dowson, but I'll bet that you are doing just what I did, and create another email account just to keep this whole thing on the down low. I like it that you are so smart! And, we seem to think alike! It is no wonder that fate brought us together like this.

The only problem I have is getting the bank statements to you. Like I said in my first email, I don't have a fax machine, and since I use a computer here at the public library, I don't have the ability to scan it and send it to you as an email attachment. Even then, I'm not sure I could even do that. I don't know computers so good, and I only get to play on it for a little while every day because they always kick me out when I start looking at porn. The try to block the sites, but as you know there is so much of it out there it's real easy to find.

So anyway, that's why I won't be able to send you the proof of my identity by email, and until I get the advance from you to go buy the fax machine, I won't be able to do that either, darn it! But I do have some good news for you about that fax machine. You remember how I told you that I could get one for a couple of hundred dollars? Well, I rode over to check them out at Office Deport yesterday and discovered to my surprise they have one for just $139.99! It's a floor model, but that's ok because we just need it for a couple of times, right?

Now even though I can get a good deal on the fax machine, I'm still going to need the whole five hundred dollars in advance, because like I said,I have some other important expenses to take care of right away. Just for example, one thing I have to do right away is pay my P.O. (oh sorry, that's slang for my Parole Officer) because it won't help either of us if I'm back in jail, now will it? Don't worry, as soon as I get the money, it's the first thing I'll do. I promise I won't go drinking with it the way I did the last time my Uncle George lent me fifty dollars, but then that was just so little money that I couldn't actually pay my fine! However, when I get the five hundred from you, I'll have enough for the fine, do some drinking and buy the fax machine! Just teasing--I promise, no binge drinking till we seal the deal, ok?

Ok, it is so good talking to you and making this kind of personal contact. I feel really good about this and I know you do too! I know we can make it happen as soon as I get the money and the fax machine. You already know my home address, of course--where you sent the first letter--so you can just send the check there. If you prefer to wire the money so we can get started right away, please just let me know when and where I should go to pick it up. Western Union has a branch downtown on Sixth Street, I think. Anyway, you can google it I guess. Just let me know and I'll be there waiting for it!

Well, I can't end this note without thanking you again Mr. Dowson! You are truly an angel of mercy and goodwill. I know your family must be very proud of you, if they even know what a wonderful person you are and the amazing things you do for complete strangers. IWell, at least we were strangers till you wrote me. You know, I'll bet you are the kind of person who doesn't want to take credit for your actions, but that's because I know you have my best interest at heart. Oh, trust me, that will change if I have anything to say about it. Don't worry, of course I'll keep this quiet until we have the money safely tucked away, but then I will want to tell the world about your wonderful, generous character. You mustn't hope to hide all that light under a bushel!

Oh yes, and the last thing--my father's name was Miehtigh Koehn Dubov (I think that's why everyone knew him as M.K.:)

Take care,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Interesting that George Dowson also wrote to my husband about an account belonging to a Mr M.K.Dalziel