Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Awake Again

From Lynda's Retrospective...


Well, today I got a call from Lynda. She began by calling me Steve, then told me that she had somehow arrived in a strange place. When I told her that I was Phillip and that I had arranged for this, she said, "Well, this isn't the place for me, Steve".

I know that she won't be happy with any arrangement, including her home, but I do feel that living in her apartment is no longer a viable option. In fact, the only option we have left, after have successfully delayed admission to an assisted living facility. Of course, there are many things we could have done differently, but always we tried to accommodate Mom's desires, so in the end, we are where we are because that's where Lynda asked us to take her. I really did try, several times, to get her admitted to the Park, but each time was met with the desire to be independent and her concerns that the assisted living would be too confining. Well, what we have now is even more confining, but at least it's not so cramped and noisy as the Southwood, which is where she spent two week prior to going home the last time.

So Steve is over there today, arranging for the paperwork and will check her out and let me know how it is going. I don't expect more than I've already heard; that is, that she is not happy and in pain. Honestly, at this point, I don't think she'll have it any other way, as the pain meds make her somnolent and she has never been happy.

From my perspective, Marbridge Villa is a very nice place for what it is. After all, this is a place where people come because they have to, not because they want to, and in most of these places, the caregivers take advantage of that fact, yielding little or any real 'care' and substituting in it's place perfunctory and often rude treatment. Marbridge appears to be different, in that eveyone I've met so far has been very nice and genuine about their concern for Lynda. They seem to recall that we all have parents, and that the treatment we give to others should be no different that that we give to our own.

I hope this day is the day when Lynda realizes how much we care for her and how much we've done to make this part of her life more comfortable. Loving her is no more difficult now that ever before, but caring for her has become more of a challenge than I anticipated.

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